


things you said

by gallaghcrs



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Vacation, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 14:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19064545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallaghcrs/pseuds/gallaghcrs
Summary: The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.Or, it’s a little too late when Sam and Grizz realize that they can help each other.





	things you said

**Author's Note:**

> this isn’t proofread because im a lazy fuck lol sorry

There are three days left of school and Sam is alone at lunch. Becca had texted him that morning saying she was feeling sick so she wouldn’t be at school, and the entire day, Sam had felt like a piece of him was missing. Truthfully, he didn’t know how he was going to survive when Becca went off to college and he was stuck in West Ham like a fucking loser. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go to college, of course he did. But he had no fucking idea what he wanted to do, or how he would do it. Not being able to hear what his professors said during lessons was going to be rough. He could always read the textbooks or look up stuff online, but that was never the same as having someone actually teach it to you. In high school, he had plenty of friends who were willing to help him out, but college would be...different.

He told himself he’d take a year off. One year to decide what he wanted to do, how the fuck he was going to do it, and make some money to pay for it so he wouldn’t be tens of thousands of dollars in debt just as he was heading into adulthood. He didn’t know if it would happen that way, he didn’t know if he had the kind of motivation and drive that he needed, but he hoped.

There was too much on his mind. He had barely touched his lunch, not that it looked any good anyway — a soggy ass fish sandwich that he was almost sure didn’t contain any actual fish. He was about to stand up to throw the food in the trash when he saw someone sitting down next to him from the corner of his eye. Slowly, he sat back down, looking over, wondering who in the hell would be sitting with him.

Grizz. Grizz the football player, Grizz from his AP Bio class, Grizz who never talked to him outside of said class. But there he was, sitting down next to Sam, staying silent but in a way that made it seem like this was an everyday occurrence. He must have caught Sam looking at him oddly, because Sam could read the words on his lips, “What? Should I move?”

“No, no,” Sam quickly stuttered, hoping Grizz understood him. He should be used to his voice by now, they sat together in bio and Grizz always tried to help him if he was stuck on something. “Just...confused. Weren’t you going to the beach with the rest of the guys this week?” Everyone had been planning their senior trips and talking about them nonstop. Sam planned on going to the beach with Becca and Kelly.

Grizz shook his head. “Had an argument. Decided not to go. So while they’re gone...can I sit here?” He spoke slowly, carefully enunciating each word, and Sam wanted to tell him he didn’t have to be so careful because he could read lips rather fluently. But it was cute how he cared, so Sam didn’t mention it.

“Of course,” Sam said. He wondered what they could have possibly argued about to make Grizz not want to join his friends on their senior week trip. He knew he was close to his friends, they were almost always together — in classes, in the halls, after school. It was hard to imagine them ever getting pissed off at each other. Sam couldn’t lie, he was very curious about what had happened, but he didn’t ask. That would be nosy. “So you’re not doing anything for senior week? At all?”

“Nope,” Grizz said, ending the word with a pop on the ‘p’ sound. He stabbed his spoon into the lumpy pile of mashed potatoes on his tray. “What about you?”

Sam almost didn’t want to answer that. He was already upset about missing out, Sam didn’t want to rub it in that he was going to the beach. Then again, Grizz had asked… “Going to the beach with Becca and Kelly,” he responded, trying not to sound too excited about it.

“Oh, cool,” he said, nodding. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to the beach.”

Well that made Sam feel like shit. Dammit, he should have just lied and said he wasn’t doing anything. At least then Grizz wouldn’t have felt as left out. “It’s not...it’s not that great,” Sam said. He avoided making eye contact out of fear that Grizz would be able to tell he was lying. “Overrated.”

“I guess so,” Grizz shrugged. “Anyways, is it okay if I sit with you again tomorrow? They aren’t coming back until the last day of school, so I’ll be alone again tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure,” Sam said, smiling. It was a situation with a mutual benefit because neither of them had to be alone. And as a bonus, Sam actually liked talking to Grizz — he was relaxed, considerate, smart — the kind of friend Sam could use right now considering how stressed he was.

-

There were two days left of school and Sam wasn’t alone at lunch. Becca was taking a placement test for one of her college courses, so she wasn’t at school — but Sam had someone else to sit with at lunch. Grizz was sitting in the same spot as yesterday, presumably waiting for him. “Hey,” Sam said, sliding into the chair next to him. The lunch today looked just as awful as usual, he wasn’t even going to bother going through the lunch line today. “Can’t believe we’re going to be graduated soon,” Sam added, trying to make casual conversation. It was difficult for him to talk to people he didn’t know very well, but it would be even worse if they spent the whole period sitting in awkward silence.

“Can’t wait for college,” Grizz said, shaking his head, eyes locked somewhere off in space as he presumably daydreamed about what college would be like.

“You a party boy, Grizz?” Sam joked.

“Nah, just…” Grizz’s tone was serious, more than usual. There was something lost about his expression, the way his eyebrows scrunched together just slightly and his lips formed a flat line. “Want a fresh start.” The corners of his mouth curled up in a small smile at the thought.

“What are you going to study?” Sam asked. This time, he wasn’t just making conversation, he was genuinely curious. Grizz was pretty intelligent, in biology at least, but it was difficult to picture him settling down with just one subject.

“Environmental science.” It was fitting, to say the least. “What about you?”

“Huh?”

“What’s your major?” Grizz asked, nudging Sam on the shoulder.

“Oh, uh…” Sam trailed off. He smiled a bit to hide how awful that question made him feel, but what made him feel even worse was his answer. “I’m not going to college yet.”

Grizz must have noticed the overpowering insecurity that showed on Sam’s face. “You have your whole life to decide,” Grizz reassured him.

That’s what everybody said. The thing was, Sam didn’t know if he’d ever be able to decide. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to graduate. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to get a job that paid enough for him to be able to support himself and, maybe someday, a family. “Makes me feel stupid, I guess,” Sam said. “Everyone’s going to college now. If you aren’t, you’re lazy. A loser. You’ll amount to nothing.” Sam continued to spew off the degrading things he thought of himself until he remembered he was talking to Grizz, an acquaintance, rather than Becca, his best friend. “Sorry. Don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“It’s okay, just need to let that shit out sometimes,” Grizz said. Briefly, and lightly, barely noticeable under Sam’s sweatshirt, Grizz wrapped an arm around Sam’s back and reassuringly rubbed his shoulder. Because it was Grizz, it came off as somewhat awkward, but he really was trying his best. And Sam appreciated that. “You’re not stupid, though. Or any of those things. You’re probably more hardworking than most of the people in this school.”

Sam still didn’t know if he believed it, but he nodded anyway, biting his tongue before he said anything else. He didn’t want Grizz to think he was purposely trying to get pity from him. “Thanks.”

That lunch period had turned into an impromptu session of mediocre therapy, but Sam was okay with that. He could even admit to himself that he was maybe feeling a little bit better, and maybe Grizz was someone Sam could talk to more outside of just AP Bio.

-

It was the last day of school, Becca was back, Grizz’s friends were back, and Grizz was still sitting in the same spot as the past two days. “Why is Grizz sitting there?” Becca signed to Sam as they approached the lunch table. “I don’t mind, but why?” Sam shrugged as if he had no idea.

“Hey, Grizz,” Becca said, sitting down across from him. Sam sat next to Becca, quickly noticing that Grizz’s eyes were outlined in a red hue and covered with a glossy shimmer. “What brings you here?”

“Just changing things up, I guess,” he answered nonchalantly, though Sam could tell something was off.

“Luke and them are back now, aren’t they?” Sam asked.

Grizz nodded, then quickly grabbed his lunch tray and started throwing his book bag over his shoulder. “Sorry, right, I can go.”

Instinctively, Sam grabbed at his hand, then realized what he was doing and immediately let go. “You can stay.” Grizz sighed, relieved, and sat back down. Sam looked at Grizz, then over at Becca, trying to communicate through the confused looks they gave each other. Sam made sure Grizz wasn’t watching him, then he hurriedly signed a simple ‘go’ to Becca, who understood the hint, and excused herself to the bathroom. “You okay?” Sam asked once Becca was gone.

Grizz took a while to answer. He must have been contemplating something — how he should answer that, if he really wanted to say what he was thinking of saying. Sam didn’t want to intrude on his life, but it seemed like something he did want to talk about. He had definitely been crying. “You’re gay, right?” Grizz asked. He refused to look him in the eyes when he said it, and his face was turned to the side, making it hard for Sam to understand. But he did.

“Uh...yeah. Yeah, why?”

Grizz sighed, then took a deep breath. “I think I am too? And I was going to wait until college to tell people, but you know...school’s almost over, I wanted to tell my close friends before we never saw each other again. It just seemed right.” He paused, taking a sip of his water. “Uh, didn’t go too great.”

Sam swallowed a lump in his throat. That was one thing he never had to deal with. “They weren’t supportive?” Sam asked. He wanted to be quiet, so he leaned in closer to Grizz and looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

“They weren’t not supportive, either,” Grizz explained. “They just said it was weird for them and they needed some time to process it. Now I’m too much of a pussy to go talk to them.”

“I know this fucking sucks right now, not knowing if your best friends are still your best friends, and they had a shitty reaction. But don’t give up on them yet, they could still come around,” Sam said. “And if they don’t...well, you’re leaving for college anyway soon, right?”

Grizz nodded. “I know. It’s just hard.” It was hard to watch. Sam knew Grizz as someone who never let what other people thought of him bother him. But there he was, on the verge of having a breakdown in the middle of the cafeteria because of his shitty, asshole friends. “Sorry. I don’t want to annoy you with all this shit.”

“It’s okay,” Sam said. It reminded him of the conversation they’d had yesterday, only reversed. “Just need to let that shit out sometimes, right?”

“Yeah,” Grizz chuckled. “Thanks for listening, though. Well, not listening but, you know what I mean.”

“You can talk to me anytime,” Sam said. He knew he wasn’t the best at giving advice, but he was really good at being there for people. He noticed then that Grizz was staring at him, not subtly, but very obviously. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…that looks cool. The sign language.” Looks cool? Really? That just had to be a lie. If anything, it just annoyed everyone around him. “Is that offensive?”

“No, no,” Sam laughed. “I’m just surprised.”

“I’d like to learn some sign language sometime,” Grizz said. “Maybe you could teach me?”

“Sure.” Sam had been right about Grizz. They could help each other. And Sam believed that they probably had a lot more in common than either of them thought. It was annoying that they didn’t realize this until the last day of school, but better late than never, right?

-

It was late at night, the day before graduation, and Sam couldn’t stop thinking about Grizz. It was weird how he could connect with someone so well, someone he had barely talked to before. He didn’t deserve what he was going through, no one did. And he realized that with Grizz leaving for college, and Sam staying right where he was, they might never talk to each other again. It really sucked, because he saw something in Grizz, a growing potential. And he’d never really get to know him.

Maybe Grizz could come on his senior week trip with Becca and Kelly? He knew he’d want to, considering that he hadn’t gone with his friends. He wasn’t worried about that, he was worried about how Becca would react. They had been planning this trip since junior year, Sam highly doubted that she’d want an intruder that she barely knew joining them. Still, though...it was worth a shot.

He grabbed his phone and typed out a message to Becca. ‘can grizz come with us to the beach? he’s having a hard time. he didn’t get to go on the trip with his friends.’

He waited. He kept his phone in his hand, waiting to feel that buzz, but it never came. Had she seen the message and ignored him? It was more likely that she was just asleep. But goddamn, Sam was impatient, and the more the minutes flew by, the more anxious he became.

Fuck it, right? Becca couldn’t be too mad if Grizz came, it wasn’t a big deal. Just one extra person. And he felt awful for Grizz, having his best friends treat him like that and practically having the last of his senior year ruined. The least Sam could do was try to help him forget about that.

It was 1am and Becca still hadn’t responded. Sam opened up Grizz’s contact in his phone, labeled as “Grizz from biology,” and started typing up a message. ‘hey i know this is really last minute, but would you want to come to the beach with becca kelly and i? we’re leaving monday.’

He pressed send, but he couldn’t help feeling like something was missing. He started typing again. ‘i really liked talking to you at lunch. i just wish we had more time to talk before school is over.’

Grizz responded soon after that. Sam didn’t know what he was doing up at one in the morning, but if he had to guess, he’d probably assume he was having trouble sleeping at the moment. When his phone buzzed, he was nervous to see what Grizz had said, so he held his phone in his hand for a few moments just thinking. What if he was in way over his head and this was the stupidest idea ever and Grizz just thought he was weird? What kind of person invites someone they barely know on a vacation to a beach house?

Sam wanted to slap himself for being so stupid, and he was so embarrassed that he didn’t even want to read the text from Grizz. He swallowed his pride and opened up the message.

‘seriously? that would be awesome! id love to come’

Sam felt like he could breathe now. A few moments passed, then another text came through.

‘i like talking to you too :)’

Smiling, Sam fell asleep clutching his phone to his chest. 


End file.
